10 Life Truths We All Need To Remember
Over the years, I've noticed that there are certain ideas I keep coming back to. They aren't rules, and they're certainly not the only way to see the world. But they've become guiding reminders that help me return to myself when life feels noisy, confusing, or overwhelming.
Here are ten of them.
1. You are not the stories your mind tells you about yourself.
Your mind is a beautiful thing. It helps to create the intricate, wonderful world you live in. It gives you a perspective of life that is unlike that of anyone else. The key to ensuring that this perspective is one that helps, rather than hurts, you is to first recognize that your mind thinks lots of thoughts, many of which have no factual basis. Learn to spot these untrue stories by noticing the thoughts that leave you feeling smaller, less hopeful, or less like yourself. Question their validity, and decide to transform them into thoughts that feel better. Not every thought deserves to be believed. Learning to question the ones that pull you away from yourself can change the way you experience your life.
2. Your past doesn’t have to become your future.
We all have wounds that we’ve accumulated simply from being a human being raised by other human beings with wounds in a world with wounds. Our past experiences shape the way we see ourselves and the world, and many continue asking for our attention, understanding, and healing. So allow yourself to be vulnerable, acknowledge these past hurts, see their role in shaping who you are today, and shift how you think about the events and people involved. When you heal these wounds, hurts from the past won’t have to become fears of the future that ruin your present potential for happiness.
Your past can shape you without defining you.
3. You are worthy of what you long for.
Many of us assume we have to earn our worth before we can pursue the life we want. We tell ourselves we'll deserve love once we've changed enough, success once we've achieved enough, or happiness once we've proven enough.
But your worth isn't something you achieve. It's something you bring with you.
You may not control exactly how life unfolds, and not every dream will arrive in the form or timing you imagined. But you don't have to question whether you're worthy of hoping, creating, loving, growing, or beginning again. Those desires often tell us something important about what matters to us. Let them move you forward rather than convince you that you're not enough.
4. Your life is your own.
Any time a friend, parent, family member, or anyone else verbally ‘shoulds’ on you, telling you “you should make this decision” (eg “be this profession”, “marry this person”, and so on), recognize that they're usually speaking from their own hopes, fears, and experiences — and then gently return to your own inner knowing. The only thing you need to listen to is your own heart and all those "shoulds" can become so loud that they drown out your own voice. Don’t try to live your life based on the wants and needs of others. Live from the wants and needs of your heart, for it knows you best.
5. What other people think about you is something you can't control.
In a world of 7.4 billion people, it is unrealistic to expect that each one will like, appreciate, and accept you as you are. Why? Because each has their own likes, dislikes, wounds, and personalities, making it impossible for you to control what they think, feel, say and do about you. What you can control, however, is what you think, feel, say, and do about yourself. And when you are true to yourself and think only the best of yourself, what others think about you becomes less of a concern. You do have an intrinsic need to belong, but your belonging isn’t conditional on you saying certain things, doing certain things, and buying certain things. You already belong. You always have and always will.
What you think about yourself matters far more than what others think about you.
6. You teach others how to treat you based on how you treat yourself.
Treat yourself with the same respect, care, and kindness you hope to receive from others. When you do, you're more likely to recognize relationships that reflect those same positive qualities. Because you will approach them with kind words and positive actions. If you respect yourself, they will too. Because you will relate to yourself and to them in a respectful manner of speech and action. If something happens that does not meet your criteria of respect, you will stand up, set boundaries, and let the other party know what is and what is not acceptable when it comes to their interactions with you. Instead of sitting back and accepting any and all kinds of rude, demeaning, disrespectful behavior, you will voice your discontent. If it continues, you will gather up your courage and trust that all is for the best and you will walk away because you know that you deserve to be surrounded by people who treat you as you deserve to be treated and as you treat yourself.
7. You are more resilient than you think.
Think back on your life. See all the ups and downs it’s been filled with. Remember the lows and see the highs that followed. Now remember the very lowest low. Even after your lowest moments, wasn't there eventually another season? Another breath? Another glimpse of hope? Life goes sour sometimes but you can bounce back from anything. You’ve got the strength, resilience, and determination to do so. In fact, it’s all those lows that have given you ample strength, courage, and wisdom to get right back up after you fall, to see a glimmer of good when all else looks bad, and to try again soon after it’s felt like a piece of your heart was torn out and stomped on. Remember this the next time you are in a very low low.
8. You always have options.
If you feel “stuck” and you don’t like how your life is going, it’s likely because you are using the same logic to make changes in your life as the one that created the life you currently find yourself in. As our friend Albert Einstein said, "no problem can be solved from the same level of consciousness that created it." So if you don't like how your life is going, you’ve got to do something differently than you've done before. Oftentimes, this means changing the way you think about your life or any particular situation so that you can allow fresh insights and inspired action to emerge from that new awareness. You always have options, you just have to create space to see, hear, and feel them.
9. There are people out there who will love you just because you are you.
If there is one thing that is critical to living a healthy, fulfilled life, it is the friendships, relationships, and connections you create. When our social interactions are filled with judgment, criticism, and conflict, they make for a life that is unnecessarily unpleasant, difficult, and unfulfilling. So find people who appreciate you for who you are rather than who they need you to be. Being around people like this often makes it easier to remember your own unconditional worth. And when you love yourself no matter what, you’re free to shoot for the stars and reach all of your wildest dreams. After all, even if you miss or fall, the love you have for yourself stays the same.
10. You were born to be yourself.
There is not one other person on this planet who thinks, looks, walks, talks, and emotes in the same way as you. You were born to be the best version of you, not a copy of anyone else. So relinquish any urge to conform. Be true to yourself, listen to your inner wisdom, and know that it will not lead you astray. Embrace the good bits, the seemingly bad bits, and the strange bits of who you are. The more you can relax into being just as you are, the better life will be.
The more you relax into being yourself, the better life becomes.
II don't remember these truths every day. I lose sight of them too. But each time I return to them, life feels a little more grounded, a little more connected, and a little more like home. I hope one or two of them become companions for you too.
These ten reminders all point toward the same deeper practice: learning to build a kinder, wiser relationship with yourself. That's exactly what we explore inside my course Happy from the Inside Out®. If you'd like support putting these ideas into practice, I'd love to welcome you there. And if this article resonated with you, you might also enjoy 10 Ways Life Is Encouraging You to Practice Self-Love, which explores what these truths can look like in everyday life.
