Healing the Heart, Healing the Body: The Parallels Are Truly Astonishing

Healing is not just about mending the physical; it’s about nurturing the emotional depths within us. As I found myself seeking physical therapy for a persistent shoulder injury, I couldn’t help but notice the surprising parallels between healing my body and healing old emotional wounds. It was as if my journey toward physical recovery was also guiding me back to the heart of my own emotional landscape.

So, come with me as we gently explore the insights I’ve gathered along the way—insights that might also offer you a sense of comfort and clarity.

Protecting Ourselves: The First Instinct

When we’ve been hurt, our natural instinct is to protect ourselves—to build walls, avoid painful reminders, and retreat from what once caused harm. With my shoulder injury, it wasn’t much different. Over time, I started to believe I couldn't perform certain movements because doing so might aggravate the injury and pain. 

But, at the same time, I realized that by avoiding these movements, I was limiting my strength and mobility. I was protecting myself from further pain and injury, but at what cost? The cost of becoming physically stronger and more agile.

My physical therapist helped me to see that I was tensing up when it came time to try the same movements that had hurt me in the past. I had learned to protect myself from physical injury the same way we protect ourselves from emotional injury- I was tensing up and not letting myself come near that thing, person, experience (or in this case, movement) again!

That is so necessary and yet, if we stop there, we don't heal, learn, and recover from the things that negatively impacted and traumatized us. Yes, self-preservation is important, but it’s also vital to allow room for healing. The cost of staying “safe” can be the loss of a fuller, more vibrant life.

Relearning in a Safe Environment

To truly heal, we need to cultivate a safe haven within ourselves. This means fostering a nurturing relationship with our inner being and offering the reassurance and support we desperately need in order to feel safe in those moments of fear and vulnerability.

With the support and safety of our inner sanctuary or safe haven, we can begin to gradually reintroduce ourselves to the elements that once caused us pain. In many ways, that’s what healing started to feel like for me… the ability to relearn and rebuild in a now safe environment.

That’s what healing really is… our ability to relearn and rebuild in a now safe environment.

With my physical therapy, this meant learning functional skills to perform the movements safely and to know that there was no danger of extreme injury- which my physical therapist confirmed- so that my body would feel safe enough to come near the same movements that had hurt it in the past. And breathing… lots of breathing…!

But it wasn't just about trusting my physical therapist. It was about trusting myself. It was only when I developed an inner relationship and dialogue within myself, reassuring myself that it was now safe to engage in those activities, that I started to truly heal the pain.

But it wasn't just about trusting my physical therapist. It was about trusting myself.

The same applies to emotional healing. Just as we rebuild physical strength, we also need to cultivate resilience for those vulnerable moments. It’s about creating an inner sanctuary—a place of safety where we can gently revisit our pain, with compassion and care, shoulder the pain (pun intended 🙂), and take measured strides toward regaining our own and others’ confidence and trust.

Building Your Inner Sanctuary

The most profound revelation I had during my physical recovery was that healing is not about avoiding everything that reminds us of past hurt, but rather creating a safe space within ourselves where we can embrace our pain with kindness. Only when we develop this inner relationship and reassure ourselves that it's now safe to engage in certain activities can we truly heal.

For a long time, I stayed away from people, situations, and things that reminded me of the people, situations, and things that had hurt me in the past. I avoided all the potentially triggering situations. And sometimes, I still do. But over time, I realized that it didn't make sense to stay away from everything that reminded me of who and what had hurt me- those people and things were anomalies, not the norm. But before I could welcome those things back into my life, my body needed to believe that I was indeed safe.

And so, within myself, I slowly created a safer inner space… a place where I could face difficult feelings with more compassion, patience, and understanding instead of immediately judging it, fearing it, or trying to push it away… a place where I could begin reassuring myself that I was no longer in the same danger I had once been in.

My biggest learning? 

That it's when we begin creating a safe environment inside ourselves and taking careful, gradual steps that we can overcome the fears that live within us and find the courage to reclaim our lives.

Overcoming Fear and Reclaiming Life

Healing, whether of the heart or the body, is not a quick fix; it’s a process of gradual, intentional steps (acquiring skills, creating safety, and fostering an empowering relationship with ourselves). Initially, it might be necessary to avoid the things that trigger pain, whether that’s a physical movement or an emotional memory. But over time, with patience, self-compassion, and a touch of courage, we can begin to reintroduce ourselves to those triggers. We can engage with them differently, with the inner knowledge that we are no longer as vulnerable as we once were.

In this way, healing becomes a dance between fear and courage, between protection and openness. We create a new relationship with ourselves—one rooted in trust, resilience, and the growing belief that we’re capable of moving through life differently than we once did.

Happy from the Inside Out® grew very much out of my own desire to understand how healing actually happens — how we slowly rebuild trust within ourselves, create greater inner safety, and learn to approach the parts of life we once feared with a little more steadiness, compassion, and courage over time.

And if this article touches something more personal in your life, this is also the kind of work I support people with one-on-one.

Note: This article was originally written several years ago and has been lightly updated to reflect my current work and offerings.