If Your Life Feels Difficult

I know you’d agree that there are times when life feels difficult. Maybe you recently went through a time like that… And maybe you’re going through one right now.

When we’re going through a rough time like this, I’ve noticed that it might feel like things are going wrong and we’re not getting a break. At least, that’s what’s happening on the surface. Below the surface, what’s happening is that we’re having a hard time with the emotions that we’re feeling, and that’s what’s really making life seem and feel difficult.

You see, life is only difficult to the extent that you have difficulty with the emotions you feel. And if you’re like most people, you’re okay with the feel-good emotions you have (no problem, bring ‘em on!, right?) but when it comes to the ones that don't feel so good, you have no idea what to do about them and because they feel uncomfortable and unpleasant, you either ignore them or stifle them. And this is what creates difficulty in your life. It’s not so much the circumstances of your life, it’s not so much that your significant other left you or that your boss said what s/he said; it’s more so that all these experiences are bringing up emotions that you have no idea how to deal with! (That’s why I created my mini-course, The Negative Thinking and Feeling Cure – it’s a great way to start navigating your thoughts and emotions in a way that makes your life less, not more, difficult).

Life is only difficult to the extent that you have difficulty with the emotions you feel.

Dealing with your emotions doesn't have to be so hard, though. I share the steps in my mini-course and go in depth in my Happy from the Inside Out ® program- and I want to share the most important step from the process with you right now.

Once you’re aware of an emotion you’re feeling— whether you’re feeling angry, upset, frustrated, disappointed, or something else— take a moment and notice where this emotion is showing up in your body. Do you feel a tightness in your throat, a big pounding in your heart, tension in your head, or a stomachache, for example? Our emotions show up and speak to us through sensations in our body and once you notice how your anger, anxiety, sadness, grief, guilt, or shame is showing up in your body, just be with it. Be with it. Don’t ignore it. Don’t try to change it. Don’t push it away.

Be with it. Don’t ignore it. Don’t try to change it. Don’t push it away.

Bottling up your emotions inside only causes them to bubble up and explode later when you least expect it, giving rise to even more difficult emotions or maybe leading you to completely shut down emotionally. You know what I mean, right?

With this step of being with your emotions and their physical manifestations in your body without judging, criticizing, or pushing them away, you’ll be making space for your emotions and preventing the difficulty that arises when you ignore or push them away, therefore causing them to come back even louder and stronger.

And, to be clear… being with difficult emotions is simple in theory, but often much harder in practice — especially if you learned early in life to suppress, avoid, intellectualize, or move quickly past what you felt.

Many of us did.

So if this feels difficult sometimes, it doesn’t mean you’re doing it wrong. It means you’re human.

And often, healing begins not by getting rid of difficult emotions, but by learning how to stay connected to yourself while they’re here.

Much of the work I explore inside Happy from the Inside Out® centers around this: understanding your inner world, building a safer relationship with your emotions, and learning how to move through life with more self-connection and compassion.

And if this reflection touches on something more personal in your life, this is also the kind of work I support people with one-on-one.

It’s a space to slow down, understand what’s happening beneath the surface, and begin relating to yourself differently — especially in the moments that feel hardest to carry alone.