When did you start coping and stop living?

emotional life genuine happiness inner child healing self-learning Nov 09, 2022


Serious question here. When did you start coping and stop living?


We go through some pretty painful things growing up in the world today.


  • Many of us grow up around insecure and immature people who project their worries and expectations onto us.
  • Many of us have had family members and partners who don’t know how to truly love us with their actions.
  • Some of us have been criticized, judged, or made fun of at home or in school, making it impossible to believe in and be ourselves.


We need to manage these things somehow, right, so we start coping and we stop living.


  • You might not go after your goals and dreams because you don’t feel good enough, and completely lose the chance of ever achieving them.
  • You might put walls up to protect your heart from being hurt again, all the while preventing yourself from experiencing love.
  • You might be afraid that you’ll be abandoned so you become who you think your romantic partner wants you to be instead of who you really are.
  • You might stop depending on other people and stop asking for the support you need because you’re afraid of being let down again.
  • You might keep to yourself a lot for fear of being judged or excluded and miss out on opportunities to build long-lasting friendships.
  • You might start drinking or smoking weed to make the pain go away and miss out on becoming who you’re really meant to be.


This is what most people do, and what happens is you lose your ability to truly shine as who you are, to truly have fulfilling relationships, and to be truly happy.



So what do you do if you have these things you do to cope with life that prevent you from truly living it?


Well, there are 5 steps to this that I share in Happy from the Inside Out, my group program. But I am giving you the first and most important step right now because I want you to have it, and with it you will be able to truly get how you’re coping instead of truly living, which will lay the foundation for change.

Here it is: Identify something you do that you know isn’t giving you the best results in your career, relationships, and life. And ask yourself this: “What am I afraid would happen if I didn’t do this?” The answer will let you know why that behavior- why that way of coping- is something you unconsciously do.

This is the most important step for going from simply coping with your life to actually living it.

Now the problem is that you can't just take this behavior away because you’ll feel mentally and emotionally unsafe. What we need to do is unweave and heal the experience or experiences in your life that led you to have that way of coping in the first place, so that you don’t feel that you need to cope in such strong and firm ways anymore. So what I’ve done is I’ve put this all together in my group program, Happy from the Inside Out. Check it out and get on the waitlist if you feel called. The next round opens sooon!

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