What if "Don't let me down" turned into "You’re free to be who you are" for a whole generation?

I was thinking or imagining the other day... What would happen if children grew up without some of the expectations that parents so often project onto their children. What would happen, for example, if the energy behind the words "don't let me down" turned into the energy of "you're free to be who you truly are"? And what if that happened for a whole generation... What would happen to our world?

So much pain, self-abandonment, and disconnection can begin when people spend their lives trying to meet expectations that were never truly their own… like when they live their whole lives trying to meet the demands of their parents and not let those parents down. Over time, they become disconnected from their own desires, intuition, creativity, and sense of who they actually are beneath everyone else’s expectations.

Ad growing up in the modern world, it’s the rare parent who knows how to raise their child to feel loved, competent, and capable yet without the undue pressure of mounds and mounds of expectations. Perhaps you’re an immigrant from the European or Asian continents like me and your parents encouraged (or let’s be honest, likely pressured) you to become a doctor. Or maybe you grew up with a family heirloom and were pressured to work in and continue the family business although your heart wasn’t in it? Or maybe you were pressured to play sports in high school and to follow your dad’s footsteps and join an NCAA college where you can play the sport?

The variety of parental expectations may differ, but the emotional impact can sometimes be similar. Too many expectations stifle, rather than build, a child up. When children grow up feeling that love, approval, safety, or belonging are tied to performance, achievement, image, or meeting other people’s expectations, they can slowly become disconnected from their own inner voice.

And many adults continue carrying that disconnection long after childhood — making decisions based more on fear, pressure, approval, obligation, or external validation than on what genuinely feels aligned for them internally.

Too many expectations stifle, rather than build, a child up. And the child becomes an adult who is disconnected from their own inner voice.

That’s why I think a conversation of how we raise our children to be capable adults without forcing and pressuring them to be who we think they need to be is an important one to have. And I think if reminded each day that they're free to be who they are, children would grow into adults who feel good about themselves and aren’t insecure about following their own intuition and heart. They would feel free to pursue relationships, careers and lives that align with their own heart, not just those that make them look good on paper or that make them look good to other people. And in essence, these children would grow into adults who feel more secure in themselves, more connected to who they are, and more trusting of their own inner voice.

That’s what I find myself thinking about when I imagine what might change — both individually and collectively — if more children grew up feeling genuinely safe to be themselves and if the words and energy of "Don't let me down" turned into the words and energy of "You’re free to be who you are" for a whole generation.

I think many of us are still learning, even now as adults, how to reconnect with the parts of ourselves that were never fully given permission to exist.

And I can’t help but wonder how different our lives — and maybe even our world — might feel if more people grew up hearing and truly believed:

“You’re free to be who you are.”

Note: This article was originally written several years ago and has been lightly updated to reflect my current work and offerings.